Going on a “chametz” hunt! (AKA let’s get our sh*t together this Passover)

As we prepare for Passover which starts tomorrow evening, we might be thinking about how to make the holiday meaningful this year, when we can't do the typical seders with our families that we may be used to. 
 
One way is to join a virtual seder (there are enough options for one each day — or you can check out the one Secular Synagogue ran and follow along!)! Another may be to focus on the themes of oppression and freedom, the purpose of Passover, and how you can work for freedom this year. Some of us are doing a #donatethedifference tzedakah (charitable) donation. The idea is to take the money we may have spent on hosting big dinners or purchasing host gifts etc and donate that money to a worthy cause instead. 
 
Another opportunity our current reality provides is doing a different kind of "clean out". Many Jews search their homes high and low for "chametz" - bread/unkosher food. Even the smallest crumb must be burnt. My house is not fully kosherized for Passover (my husband, who isn't Jewish and loves sandwiches at least as much as he loves me, wouldn't be on board). 
 
The "chametz" I want to clear out this year is anything that isn't serving me as I adjust to this new reality. I am taking the opportunity to purge documents or work files I don't need, etc. Some do a full spring cleaning around Passover and now that most of us are at home a lot more, it's a great time to Marie Kondo your living space and get rid of stuff that doesn't "spark joy." 
 
Some of us are also cleaning out our social media feeds. You can "unfollow" or mute  people who are posting news from untrustworthy sources, who are fear-mongering, or who are for any other reason not helping you at this time. I cleaned out my social media feed of stuff that tends to stress me out -- even news/media sources. I consciously check the news once a day instead so that it isn't overwhelming. The truth is, social media can be an incredible connector, especially now. I realize there are problems with Facebook, Zoom, and the rest — stealing our data and exposing us to weird ads. But we can control a lot of what we see and put out there via social media. Make it a “space” that you are proud of and that serves you.
 
Finally, take this time to clean out your own thoughts via journalling, meditation, talking, or simply breathing. If you have been stressed out, anxious, overwhelmed, that is all normal and ok. It is also possible to start to try and feel a bit better. Focus on the present, on what you can control, and on what you have to be grateful for. Sometimes the cleaning out we really need to do is of our own negative thoughts.  As we head into this Passover, ask yourself: what is no longer serving me? What can I let go of? 
 
I wish you a beautiful and meaningful Passover! 

Until next time, 
Rabbi Denise

PS: I was recently on this beautiful radio show Tapestry, speaking about how to make Passover meaningful now. If you want to give it a listen, it’s the second half of this episode: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/tapestry/soundtrack-for-the-soul-featuring-hawksley-workman-diy-digital-passover-seder-1.5519104

PPS: Secular Synagogue is still welcoming new members for this cohort but our doors close soon. Get in touch if you’d like to learn more!

Why is this night different?

Passover is my very favourite holiday of the year. I really adore sitting down to a seder that is, each year, both familiar and new. I love the ritual and tradition, the storytelling aspect, the focus on children, and, of course, the food.

Jewish teachings indicate that we are to make the seder new each year. I challenge you to figure out how to do that around your seder table this year. Perhaps it’s a new addition to the seder plate (last week I spoke about Ruth’s mix for intermarried/intercultural folks). Perhaps it’s a new poem or reading. Perhaps you find a creative and fun way to tell the story of the Exodus (one year my family told it by enacting the scenes in a game of charades).

The point of making it new is not just to keep things interesting, although that’s a worthwhile goal in itself. The point is that we must see ourselves as though we were slaves in Egypt, moving from oppression to freedom. For that to happen, the seder must be experiential and evocative. If our traditions are stale, we will experience distance from the story.

Each seder we ask “why is this night different from all other nights?” We should also ask why this particular night, this particular seder, is unique or special.

One of the things that makes each seder unique is the people who share the table. Sometimes there will be a new person: a new guest, friend, partner, child, who is at the table for the first time. Sometimes it’s the same group of people but everyone is at a new stage of their lives: having gotten married or had a baby, having lost a partner or loved one, having retired, changed jobs, or experiencing some other new change. Each year we grow and evolve and so each year we ourselves are new at the seder table. Take the time to find out who and how everyone is this year. And take the time to find out why this night is special, different from all other seders and gatherings.

Photo of a Seder plate one person made for the SecularSynagogue.com Seder. If you missed it, join the community now so you don’t miss all the other fantastic things we’re up to! 

Intermarried/intercultural mixing it up this Passover

Passover is my favourite holiday! One of the things I love about it is how we take tradition and make it our own. This is something many secular/cultural Jews do all the time, for we give tradition a vote but not a veto in all of our Jewish practices. But at Passover this is what all Jews are meant to do: stick to traditional ritual and storytelling, but do it in a new way each year.

Do you use a contemporary Haggadah?

Do you tell the story of the Exodus in creative ways?

Do you put an orange on your Seder plate for gender and LGBTQ equality? (If so, you may want to check out the real story behind it: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/an-orange-on-the-seder-plate/)

There is a brand new tradition I’ll be incorporating this year. It comes from JewBelong, a website dedicated to eliminating “JewBarrassment,” the feeling we sometimes get in Jewish spaces when we don’t know what’s going on. This is for Jews and also for those who join Jewish families via Intermarriage, or others who end up with us at holidays and celebrations.

JewBelong’s Haggadah encourages adding “Ruth’s Mix” to the Seder plate. The biblical Ruth married into our people, and her mix on the plate is to show that all are welcome at the Seder table, particularly non-Jews in intercultural families. The mix is a blend of almonds, raisins, and chocolate, all delicious separately, but even better together. As folks eat the mix they consider that bringing cultures and peoples together heightens our joy.

If you want to check out their Haggadah with the section about Ruth’s mix, it’s here: http://www.jewbelong.com/holidays/passover/

Here’s to mixing it up and welcoming all at our Seder tables!!

Passover prep

As soon as the beginning of April hits, I often realize that I have not prepared for Passover the way I had meant to. Every year I imagine I will create my own Haggadah (in my case, kid-friendly), clean my whole house in the manner of Marie Kondo, get to the end of my work to-do list, and then fall into the perfect seder-mode, as though some kind of Passover queen.

None of those things happen, usually.

Last year I did successfully create a kid-friendly Haggadah, using a blend of Oraynu’s fabulous Haggadah Roots and Branches (we sell those! You can get a set for your own table!),  and the resources on Haggadot.com. This website has assembled sources on all aspects of the Haggadah so you can easily create your own. Yes, most sources are theistic/traditional, but you can edit as you wish. It’s work, but I like that we have a family Haggadah made just for us.

The rest does not happen and is not likely to happen, if I’m being honest. The best I’m going to do on the house cleaning front is making it passable in short spurts (I like the method of putting on fast music and setting a timer for seven minutes) and perhaps a controlled amount of decluttering. My work to-do list will continue to get ever-lengthier, not shorter. I’ll resemble more of a Passover working mom than queen. But all of that is just fine!

I really think that we tend to sweat the small stuff when it comes to Passover prep, and lose sight of the big picture. What is this holiday about? It’s about ending oppression, celebrating freedom, gathering with loved ones, and engaging with a story that has served as the cornerstone of Jewish culture and community. It really doesn’t matter if you haven’t prepared the perfect meal with 8 courses or cleaned each speck of chametz (bread items) or dust from your home.

For me, the big moment of joy last year was hearing my nephew and daughter sing “Ma Nishtana,” the Four Questions, in Hebrew. There is something so powerful about the intergenerational links that celebrating Passover creates. I remember seders from childhood and it’s amazing to see my kids experience their power now.

So, do your prep. Keep your eye on the important stuff. If your home is a little more cluttered or your to-do list a little too long, you can still have a wonderful holiday.

To help you along, I’ve created a Passover prep guide. Check it out here:

 https://www.secularsynagogue.com/free-download

Happy Passover prep, everyone!